Life of as I know it.

Hey, I like you.. I wish it were as easy as that to tell you. The thing is, I can’t. I guess I’d just be digging my own grave if I did. Oh forget it.. Looking at things clearly, it’s true you’re the same as me. The only difference is, yours is worse. To be restrained from your love one would feel like death. But to be restrained from your love one when both of you are fully compassionate about each other would feel like  undergoing death twice, maybe even thrice.

So, here I stay.. A watcher of your love. You’re love in which I can never be a part of. If this were a movie, I would be the person whom the audience would care less about.

But still knowing it to be impossible, there would be nights when I’d think “What if…”

I don’t know what’s happening to me. This morning I was just fine, read manga and played with my sister all day. But theres’ something about tonight that makes me irritated. I think I’m just over thinking things again. My dreams, overloading again. I just want to do so much things, so much things, that I don’t even know where to begin. And thinking of myself not being able to accomplish them, makes me irritated.

The thing with me is, I just want to try things, not actually do that one single thing in my entire life. I guess it’s just like Phineas and Ferb. One day they make a roller coaster, after that day, they make a time machine. Each thing they do changes every single day. They don’t make roller coasters everyday. And they don’t travel through time every episode either. I guess I’m just like them.

What I’m worrying about myself is that, what if when I grow up, I don’t change? What if when I’m already working, I suddenly feel an urge to do something else?  What do I really want to do in life?

Crap, I’m over thinking again.. haha.

Hey, I made another song.. :)

My heart’s been ripped to many pieces

It’s been stepped on too many times

Been thrown straight to the labyrinth

Oh, when will I stop with this lies?

Pretend a pile of metal needles

Feels just as sweet as wine

Pretend I haven’t realized

That you can never be mine

I’ve been fantasizing for too long

Hurting myself down deep inside

But I guess, oh yes, it’ll be alright

As long as I can still see you smile

‘Coz love is never jealous

Nor is it with anger in disguise

It’s pure and understanding

It can’t be built with lies

Love is never selfish

May it be mutual or not

What I’m saying is I still love you

Even if you love me not

Even if you love me not.

I like the last stanza a lot.. However, it’s not finished yet.. i really want to finish it. :|

It’s Bibimbap Day! :)

After having another adventure in UPD, my friend and I headed to my house and decided to cook an effort-made meal rather than buy topsilog in Rodic’s. To be honest, in the past few days I have been obsessing about collecting recipes from the internet. And while I was browsing through some sites, I remembered a show from KBS where they surveyed foreign students in Korea about their “Most Favorite Korean Food.” And that’s when I remembered Bibimbap! :)

So in the end, I landed on this website.

Since it was our first time making Bibimbap, we were really excited. But really, it ain’t a piece of cake. I guess we’re just saying that since we are just a couple of teenage amateur cooks. Anyways, after our bloody and sweaty efforts, we have fortunately made a more-than-edible-but-also-very-delicious Bibimbap! I’m so proud of us both. xD

Truly, I will never forget this day.. :)
And if i do, I have this blog to remind me. xD

Just one word..

BUUURP~

For the first time in my life, the thought of drinking alcohol due to depression actually crossed my mind. Why did you have to show me that picture, Nica? Thank you my friend! You ruined my night..

Stuffs Currently in my Notebook:

1. Tips for Making Better Pancakes

2. Cooking Adobo

3. Cooking Puchero

4. Making Bibimbap

5. Making No-Bake Oreo Cheesecake

6. Making Sloppy Joes

Sadly for me, I am a oven-less and electric mixer-less teenager. So, the stuffs I can cook are pretty limited. :(

I’m currently writing recipies on the cute little notebook Grace gave me (I love her soo much!). Haha. I guess my last high school summer would just have to be all about going to college.. and food. Literally, I can’t stop thinking about food. When I wake up in the morning, the first thing that would come to my mind would be what my breakfast would be (which would usually be rolled oats that I love so much). Yesterday, my friends and I went to the mall and ate Bibimbap for lunch. I can’t stop thinking about Bibimbap after that (not only is it good, but it’s really healthy!). It’s as if my mind wouldn’t be at ease until I cook my own Bibimbap here at home for my dad, mom, and two older sisters, and yes, I’m only seventeen. LOL.

Really, my future husband would be really lucky to have me as his wife. Not only am I nice and pretty, but I would also cook him delicious food for the rest of his lifetime.

Ba’t ganun? Ba’t ganun ang mga tao? Una, sobrang may pinagsamahan kayo, tapos pagdaan ng panahon, parang wala nangyari? Lahat ng tawan, lahat ng iyakan, parang nabali wala na. Nagpaparamdam ako.. Pero, ba’t parang wala pa rin? Myka.. Alex.. Anong nangyayari sa atin? Parang mauulit lang ata kina Ryuh, ha.. tsk tsk.

For some reasons, I want to make breakfast for my family tomorrow.. Pancakes maybe.. and mango shake. But I guess the weather’s too cold so yeah.. change that to hot milk tea. :)

Bikram Yoga day :)

My uncle and I attended a Bikram Yoga session last week. Although it was just for two days, I instantly fell in love with it. First timers usually react negatively to it. Why? Probably because of the sweat or the dizziness and nausea you’ll feel, or maybe because of the intense heat. To be honest, my first session was VERY horrid. I got dizzy and stopped a couple of times.

I don’t know. But after all those, I felt like a new person. I felt as healthy and alive as ever. During my second session, I missed the heat coming from the room. I also liked the feeling of sweat coming out of my body. I loved it. And.. I’m going to miss it. Thank you uncle for letting my experience that 2-day yoga session! You have truly inspired me to do yoga when I get older. :)